Paradisefears.com

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Paradise Fears

www.paradisefears.com/

Official Website of Paradise Fears

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Where is www.paradisefears.com hosted?

Country:
United States
City:
New York
Registrar:
Go China Domains, LLC
Latitude:
40.74
Longitude:
-73.98
IP address:
66.6.44.4
IP Binary address:
1000010000001100010110000000100
IP Octal address:
10201426004
IP Hexadecimal address:
42062c04

Context analysis of paradisefears.com

Number of letters on this page:
24 217
Number of words on this page:
5 888
Number of sentences on this page:
399
Average words per sentences on this page:
15
Number of syllables on this page:
7 989
Number of Bold texts:
17
Number of Italic texts:
15

Domain name architecture

Domain name length:
17
Hyphens:
Domain doesn't contain hyphens!
Domain name with Hindi letters:
प अ र अ द इ स ए फ़ ए अ र स . च ओ म
Domain name with Hebrew letters:
פּ (a) ר (a) ד (i) שׂ (e) ף (e) (a) ר שׂ . ק(c) (ο) מ
Domain name with Cyrillic letters:
п a р a д и с e φ e a р с . ц о м
Domain name with Arabic letters:
(p) ا ر ا د (i) ص (e) ف (e) ا ر ص . (c) (o) م
Domain name with Greek letters:
π α ρ α δ ι σ ε φ ε α ρ σ . χ ο μ
Domain name with Chinese letters:
屁 诶 艾儿 诶 迪 艾 艾丝 伊 艾弗 伊 诶 艾儿 艾丝 . 西 哦 艾马
Domain without Consonants:
prdsfrs.cm
Domain without Vowels:
aaieea.o
Alphabet positions:
p16 a1 r18 a1 d4 i9 s19 e5 f6 e5 a1 r18 s19 . c3 o15 m13
Domain name pattern:
V: Vowel, C: Consonant, N: Number
C V C V C V C V C V V C C . C V C

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External links in paradisefears.com

  • http://facebook.com/paradisefears
  • http://twitter.com/paradisefears
  • http://instagram.com/paradisefears
  • https://www.youtube.com/user/paradisefears
  • https://open.spotify.com/artist/677o3tYf3N8f8Ef4XY2tZa
  • http://www.bandsintown.com/Paradise%20Fears
  • https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/151936659788/BIaqbm3i
  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy2DW8N5C&p[title]=paradise fears the future.&p[images][0]=http://assets.tumblr.com/images/og/text_200.png&p[summary]=prompted by near radio silence, a number of people on social media have been asking us different forms of the same question— where have you guys been? why aren’t you touring? why aren’t you posting on twitter? is paradise fears no longer a thing? did something happen? is there a fight? was it violent? is there a video of the fight? the simple answer is yes, paradise fears is always & forever a thing. we’re still here. still a band, still friends, still hanging out, & still making music together. the reason we’ve been so quiet lately is that now, we’re a bunch of other things, too. when Jordan & i had the conversation, we talked about it as though our lives were shelves. we decorate them with still frames of our biggest moments, & constantly update them as a running record of who we are & what’s important to us. for the longest time, all six of us were putting the same photos on our shelves— the crowd at the show, the especially excited face at the meet n greet, the conference in the hotel bathroom, the van broken down on a missouri highway. when you’re in a band & touring all the time, you’re the guy from paradise fears. it’s what you think about every morning when you wake up, how you introduce yourself, & how you orient your life. it’s the fire that fuels everything else. lately, our shelves are changing. a lot. Michael’s adding wedding photos, & Jordan’s adding photos he took, & Cole & Marcus & i are trying to add diplomas, & Lucas is building a new shelf out of far better material. Jordan’s a photographer. Lucas is an engineer. Michael’s a solo musician. Cole’s in college. Marcus makes guitars. I’m a writer. Cole lives in Sioux Falls, with Marcus, and Lucas. Jordan lives in Nashville. Michael lives in Orlando. I live in California. Cole produces for other artists. I manage other artists. Michael’s getting married. Marcus is single. I have a dog. Jordan has a full time job. Lucas wants to build water systems in third world countries. Jordan wants to take his guitar around the world. Michael wants to build a home studio to work with other artists. Marcus wants to be a contractor. Cole wants to be an architect. I want to make movies. all of us have new things to think about when we wake up, & new ways of introducing ourselves. all of us have new fires. but the paradise fears shelf isn’t going away. it’s only getting better, actually. & the pictures are going to look different— maybe a little less tour, maybe a little more music, maybe a little less industry bullshit, maybe a little more personal— but they’ll keep going up. this thing that we built— you & us together— is far too beautiful & rare to ever stop. we couldn’t stop being a part of it if we tried. we care too much about these songs, & the people they introduced us to; as long as the six of us exist, there will always be a paradise fears. SO, in the interest of not stopping— we’re going to play some shows. we know this isn’t a full tour, & it certainly isn’t going to reach everybody, but we wanted to get that feeling again, & if playing a few special shows in early january becomes a tradition…i’m not mad at it. we’re going to play our full catalogue, & host after-parties so we can see everyone. JAN 3 - BOSTON, MA - MIDDLE EAST JAN 4 - NEW YORK, NY - STUDIO @ WEBSTER JAN 6 - CHICAGO, IL - SCHUBAS ALSO, we made a new acoustic album. well, not even acoustic - we’re calling it ‘reworks & revisits,’ because the songs aren’t all acoustic; they’re just different. we holed up in a cabin in Arkansas & recorded whatever came out, which includes five songs from LIRT, as well as two new original songs.  we’re going to put ‘Someone Else’s Dream’ on november 4. thank you for sticking with us. we’ve got a lot of shelf space to fill. we’ll see you in january. sam
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy2DW8N5C&text=paradise fears the future.%20-%20
  • http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FmIUi8McaMOM%3Ft%3D4m37s&t=OWM4MDQ3NzhhOWU1ZTRmNTFiMzkzODhhMmVkM2MzMjgwYzRiZTFjZSw5SHZrZ1BIYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3ASv2CRfpPbQdgIiOC2hjYjw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fparadisefears.com%2Fpost%2F134857377446%2Fsome-words-about-life-in-real-time&m=1
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  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1zc84Qc&p[title]=some words about ‘life in real time.’&p[images][0]=http://assets.tumblr.com/images/og/text_200.png&p[summary]=intro. recorded in 2015. i’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for the shortened, anticipatory instrumental intro. cole made this track; with jordan & michael’s help. it’s swirling & vibey, it sounds for a moment like something is going to happen but then it doesn’t; it’s etherial & pleasant, which we thought was a cool contrast to the biting sarcasm of… where to begin. written in early 2014. recorded in early 2015. my favorite song on the album; written while listening to a bunch of the killers & ben folds five. michael made the track over a year ago & within 6 hours of having it in my inbox, the whole song was finished. it wrote itself; it’s weird how when you’re fighting to understand your artistic blocks, they tend to reveal themselves to you through the art itself: the frustration of not being able to write a song ends up being the part of you that writes the song. as feels painfully apparent, this one came at a time when we were being pulled in a lot of directions over what we were supposed to do next; 2014 was a hard year to make sense of being in a pop rock band, because a lot of our tour-mates & favorite bands were either breaking up (which we didn’t want to do), chasing to the much more hardcore / modern pop punk side of the spectrum (which is an awesome genre, but felt wasn’t us), or, worst of all, trying to squeeze themselves into the cookie-cutter of hyper-generic commercial musack— for instance, we did a session with a few writers where we were told “less words, less specific, more general, just say happy things, now B HOOK WITH OHS OR AHS OR BAHS OR DAHS OR NAHS!” what was even more frustrating was that the songs turned out pretty good. they definitely sounded like the kind of thing that might have played behind a target commercial. if they’d have sucked, it would have been easy to ignore them. but instead, it resulted in a lot of internal struggle. ultimately, we decided they weren’t us, & my frustration with those songs & that struggle led to a grand piece of satire— where to begin. i’m happy with it. i think it’s pretty aggressively honest. originally, before the big band explosion & ba-de-das, i’d planned to answer the “where do we go next?” question— with a verbal, spoken, “i don’t know, some vapid & meaningless B hook?” but of course, the vapid & meaningless B hook is the part of the song that i most look forward to. music, ain’t it a thing? back to life. written in 2014. recorded in 2015. i’m intrigued by how obsessed artists are with the freedom of youth. there’s something about the period of time after learning to drive & before being sucked into the real-world vacuum of taxes & monotony that is constantly, obsessively heralded as the time of ultimate freedom. i don’t know about other people, but my youth wasn’t like that; my youth was a time of learning to dwell within & experiment with the bounds that were set for me. my youth was about trying to win debate tournaments & stay out of the way of people in high school who didn’t like me. the only real freedom that was involved was emotional freedom, & that was something i had to allow myself— i loved a lot harder & cared a lot more back then, before i learned not to, & started to develop this thick skin of adulthood. & i think that’s why we romanticize it. the freedom of youth is in it’s stupidity— bold, reckless, vulnerable stupidity. i wanted to write a song with characters that embodied that innocent, emotional freedom; idealized characters that sound like they could be protagonists of a young adult novel, who genuinely believe that youth isn’t a time in your life but a way of viewing it, & that ‘people only grow up when they’ve got nothing better to do.’ i reference a lot of my favorite art from that era of my life— ‘I’ve got a $20 bill…’ is from a Brand New song. ‘The only thing that matters is how well you can walk through the fire’ is Bukowski. ‘Stay Golden’ is so oft-referenced that it out-shines the book it comes from (i had to alter the syntax for the sake of rhyme, by the way). who we were with. written in 2013. recorded in 2014. i’ve written about this one at length, & talked about it often, so i’m afraid my analysis of the song has over-shadowed my feelings about the song itself. but i guess that makes sense, because the song is itself is probably over-thinking relationships anyway. it was written over a track that cole, lucas, jordan, marcus & michael made while i was out of town. evidently the track had some structural errors, but i wrote over it anyway, which is why some of the verse lengths are weird & feel random. it was written after seeing after watching several relationships, my friend’s & my friend’s parent’s, that fell apart because the expectation of the relationship, the desire to just ‘have someone,’ the words used to describe the relationship, overshadowed the important parts. it’s a pretty basic theory— for better or worse, settling for less or creating more, we learn to love who the people who are around us. talk about it. written in 2015. recorded in 2015. jordan made this track, which is why so much of the instrumental bed is crazy guitar. he gave it to me a year ago & it had so much vibe that i spent 6 months trying to write to it, but every time, i’d fail the tone. then one day, one line made it all make sense, & the rest of the song happened. every relationship i’ve ever been in has reached this moment, the point where it’s bursting forth with feelings & hang-ups & hold-ons, all things worth talking about, & it’s so overwhelmed by them that the only rational response is to talk about none of them. one in particular that i think was my main reference for writing was one of those back-and-forth, 2-am-text kind of relationships, & i can remember thinking very distinctly one morning, “she likes how i make her feel, i like how she makes me feel, & we don’t give a shit about each other.” & neither of us really wanted to talk about it. you to believe in. written in 2013. recorded in early 2014. ‘if i ever lose my faith in you, there’d be nothing left for me to lose.’ - sting. there’s a lot of shitty things; & i spend a lot of time thinking about those things. i’m generally disappointed by politics, & the media, & celebrity culture. there’s a tremendous amount of hurt in the world & we ignore most of it. people are starving, the Earth is on its way to being completely broken, & if you let yourself be fully empathetic to all of that suffering, you’re never going to keep your head above the water. so what, in this vacuous wasteland of a planet, is there to care about? what’s left to believe in? you. guard. written in 2015. recorded in 2015. cole made this track & wrote this chorus & sent it to me. other than tacking on some verses, it’s end-to-end his creation, & one of my favorite pieces of music on the album. the way it makes me feel— completely swallowed by the sound— perfectly captures the lyric. he’s written a lot of phenomenal songs; i think this might be my favorite. sentiment. written in early 2015. recorded in 2015. i think this song is about cinnamon…. cole wrote the chorus of this song, & i think found a very cool way to speak directly to the questions that everyone asks themselves in every relationship: am i really into this person, or am i into the idea of them? are we great, or does it just sound great in my head? do i love them, or do i love the story i’ve written for us in my head? i hope i was able to honor that. in the social media age, where we can observe air-brushed versions of everyone’s lives, i think it’s easy to create a picture perfect narrative of how your relationship story is going to go before it actually happens (i do this all the time; i’m a serial first-date wedding planner). the problem with that, of course, is that it’s not going to go the way you want it to, regardless of how well it goes, & when the story in real life doesn’t match up with the story in your head, there’s bound to be friction. but alas, i can’t stop myself from doing it. i’m a slave to the sentiment. next to me. written in 2014. recorded in 2015. it was my soft, simple, sappy comedy ode to the 2 am walk home from the bar with the girl who’s impossibly out of reach. because i think it always goes like this: everyone looks so big, so out of reach, too good for you from up close, so you disappear into self-consciousness & ignore the human parts of them. then, past 2 am, people start to unravel & become who they really are, & you realize that all of the impossibility of them was in your own head— just like you, they’re afraid of the future & afraid of what the world has in store for them & afraid of being alone. & you realize you were close the whole time, you just weren’t letting yourself be. sleep. written in 2015. recorded in 2015. when i heard this track, i think i saw the song before i wrote it. the instrumentation sounded to me like the 2 am, dark blue moment where the thing you’re most afraid of keeps you awake, so you stare out the window with your head on the pillow & wonder what the point of any of this is. the age & gender & struggle of every character in the song is different, but they’re united by that moment, the sky they’re looking at, & their desperate need for sleep to find them. i hesitate to write too much about it; to explain the position of each character is to over-complicate it, so i’ll just leave it at this: i very carefully considered every line in the song, how the characters felt, & how the world felt about them. it’s one of my favorite songs that’s ever found me, & i hope it finds you too. also, jordan’s guitar solo is incredibly tasteful. say my name. written in 2015. recorded in 2015. cole wrote this song; it’s a fantastic love song, but i can’t speak much to it! reunion. written in 2013. recorded in 2014. for reunion, i had the unique experience of being somewhere (a bar in our home town in south dakota) & feeling a song write itself in a single moment, like a different me was sitting in a room with a piano above me sending words down. i talked about the idea for it quite a bit here: https://youtu.be/mIUi8McaMOM?t=4m37s but the basic gist is this: everyone’s lonely, especially in their early 20’s. we go places like bars to feel like we’re not, but what we end up doing is comparing our lives to the people around us & feeling even more lonely. but at least we don’t have to be alone. that’s the kind of thing that gets better, right? right? anybody?
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1zc84Qc&text=some words about ‘life in real time.’%20-%20
  • http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsmarturl.it%2FPFLifeInRealTime&t=ZmY4YzZhMjQ5OTRkOTQ1ODI1MzY1YzkwYjMwOGU1YWE4NGQ2NzUzYyx0UjkydFZPZA%3D%3D&b=t%3ASv2CRfpPbQdgIiOC2hjYjw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fparadisefears.com%2Fpost%2F134530706758%2Fits-here-itunes&m=1
  • http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsmarturl.it%2FPFLIRTAppleMusic&t=ZjdjMTExZWEzYjRhMDllMDU1M2M4ZTgwZTg5YzcxNmYxOTcwNDdmYyx0UjkydFZPZA%3D%3D&b=t%3ASv2CRfpPbQdgIiOC2hjYjw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fparadisefears.com%2Fpost%2F134530706758%2Fits-here-itunes&m=1
  • http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsmarturl.it%2FPFLIRTSpotify&t=NzIwMGI0YzFmYWIzMGZhYWE3OGFlZGU2MWFmYmE0YWQ5OWU5NDA1Yyx0UjkydFZPZA%3D%3D&b=t%3ASv2CRfpPbQdgIiOC2hjYjw&p=http%3A%2F%2Fparadisefears.com%2Fpost%2F134530706758%2Fits-here-itunes&m=1
  • https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/134530706758/tR92tVOd
  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1zIfwr6&p[title]=Paradise Fears&p[images][0]=http%3A%2F%2F68.media.tumblr.com%2F954c171fb678c5a5ef8538e001a96d61%2Ftumblr_nyuc7fi7Yv1qbhxsmo1_400.jpg&p[summary]=IT’S HERE!!!!!!!!!! iTunes! http://smarturl.it/PFLifeInRealTime Apple Music! http://smarturl.it/PFLIRTAppleMusic Spotify!! http://smarturl.it/PFLIRTSpotify
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1zIfwr6&text=IT’S HERE!!!!!!!!!! iTunes! http://smarturl.it/PFLifeInRealTime Apple Music! http://smarturl.it/PFLIRTAppleMusic Spotify!! http://smarturl.it/PFLIRTSpotify%20-%20
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  • https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/115005652138/fA9g8gMx
  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1h6tlog&p[title]=letters from wherever.&p[images][0]=http://assets.tumblr.com/images/og/text_200.png&p[summary]=another tour means another round of letters & on this tour there have been quite a few. it’s a lot of reading for me, but probably the coolest part about what i get to do because people write me some really, really cool shit. first of all, the letters are all very, very nice. they’re actually so nice that it’s almost a dangerous exercise in ego. fortunately, there’s just enough ‘you dress like a moron; mustard is for hot dogs’ to keep me grounded. second, & more important, people are super interesting, & they express it in the coolest ways. i get to read poetry, & short stories, & true stories, & insecurities, & social observations, & ideas. i get asked questions that make me think about myself. i get asked questions that make me re-evaluate our music. i got to read someone’s 10-step process for handling her most anxious moments. i got a collection of letters to be read over the next year. i read every letter i’m given. if your question is, ‘did you read my letter?,’ the answer is ‘hell yes & thank you so much, & on behalf of all that is good & holy, never stop writing.’ this blog provides a nice opportunity to respond to the ones with topics that i feel like writing about. sometimes they’re conversations that i think are worth having with more than just one person. sometimes they’re just a sly opportunity for me to throw in some self-deprecating humor but when i write these responses, i’m writing to all of you. thanks for writing back. — dear j.f.p. — thank you so much for listening. that music video is in the sanctuary of the church where my dad is a pastor. & he let me jump around on the pews like a goddamn monkey. you wanna talk about some weird acceptance? he had to accept the fact that his son is part-gerbil. i’m so sorry you felt isolated by your church community, & so glad that you’re starting to find some of that welcoming. even more glad that we could be the soundtrack to that. religion & morality are confusing, right? for the most part, the message of christianity (& most every spirituality) is a message of radical love & acceptance. & the bible is full of exactly that kind of wisdom. ‘love your enemies,’ ‘the kingdom of heaven is within’ - i think jesus christ is the 2nd most tumblr-quotable figure in literary history (behind john green). but some religious organizations have gone on to prescribe much more specific ideas about what is moral / good / okay / heaven-worthy, & what is not. & those ideas sometimes conflict, between different subsets of the faith & within the text. (how are you supposed to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ while you’re putting him to death for failing to observe the sabbath?) a friend (who’s actually of the baha’i faith - wildly interesting shit, look it up here: bahai.org/beliefs) recently told me he viewed the rules of his religion not as punishment from a stern enforcer, but rather as ‘lights of loving guidance.’ not definitions of what morality is or isn’t, but rather suggestions that force you to choose what it is to you, & what it’s not. the way that i understand that idea is this: if your motivation to do good things & help people (& to not do bad things & not hurt people) is fear of punishment, then what you’re doing is not morality, it’s conformity. part of being a good person is the agency you have to choose what being a good person is. if there are elements of a worldview (from christianity to the democratic party) that you disagree with, then challenging them & reaching for a greater understanding of them just brings you closer to your personal truth. i guess the simpler point is this: doubt doesn’t prevent truth, it creates it. you get to decide what matters to you. loving yourself, everything about yourself, doesn’t bring you further from god (or whatever you call it), it brings you closer. glad we got to sing together. see you next time, sam — dear k.n. — your english teacher doesn’t understand or appreciate our need for visual flow. he can enjoy his capital letters while you & i are over here looking cool as hell in lowercase. this tour has been great. i’m a dead tired, but i get a little rebirth every night, so it’s a good cycle. tell sam the bunny that i say hi & that i love him (her?). he (she?) won’t react, because he (she) is a bunny, but on some deeper level, he’ll (she’ll?) understand. sam — dear n.s. — your handwriting is insane. literally, insane. how do you write so much without screwing up? there aren’t even hesitation marks!  yes, yes, yes - let’s talk about how everyone asks everyone, ‘how are you?’ & everyone responds ‘fine’ in every conversation ever. i don’t think, at face value, that it’s a very big deal. probably good that we have a common starting point. but i think it represents a greater problem: we hide behind social convention. & we don’t really talk to each other that often. i’ve been doing a little personal social experiment (whenever i remember that i’m doing it): within the first twenty seconds of meeting a stranger, i try to ask them a personal question that demands a thoughtful response. social convention says, ‘don’t ask this person you just met about their last romantic relationship,’ & to that, i say, ‘let’s talk this shit out.’ the approximate* (*very approximate) results are this: 5 people didn’t really respond. 0 people were offended. 15 people answered, & usually they laughed first. 8 people asked questions about me in return. 5 people became friends. 95% of the time i felt better about myself. 11% of the time i felt uncomfortable. am i saying that you should ask everyone personal questions all the time? probs not. am i saying that thoughtful conversation is better than thoughtless conversation? probs yes. we’re all human beings, we’re all basically the same. we should start talking to each other like we know each other. we should get to caring about each other quicker. so yes, the next time someone asks me ‘how are you?,’ i’m going to answer it for reals. with how i am.  thank you. also, thank you so much for building me that home in your heart; you’ve got a condo in mine as well. sam — more later.
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1h6tlog&text=letters from wherever.%20-%20
  • https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/114370960733/OYHMMe6I
  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1gX2brT&p[title]=the difficulty.&p[images][0]=http://assets.tumblr.com/images/og/text_200.png&p[summary]=this story is mostly true & kind of fiction. i spent most of tuesday march 3 trying to write music. i could describe to you how that process has been going as of late, or you could just slam your head into a wall several times & simulate the experience for yourself. the problem is that self-awareness is the enemy of the creative process. the complicated part about having songs that people have liked & connected to in the past is that it’s hard to imagine songs in the future outside of the context of those reactions. i find myself with a lot of these thoughts: ‘people who liked [this song] won’t like it because it’s too [this adjective].’ ‘people who liked [that song] won’t like it because it’s not [that adjective] enough.’ ‘[this person] will think that’s too unintentionally sexual.’ ‘[this person’s mom] will think that’s too intentionally sexual.’ ‘it has to be entirely different.’ ‘it has to be exactly the same.’ so i gave up on trying to do that / b/c you can’t create when you’re not inspired / so in the event of being sickeningly uninspired / i can just call in sick / that makes song-writing the easiest/ hardest job in the world. — then we played a show in houston.  sometimes, i throw up before shows, without explanation or warning.  it’s been happening for as long as we’ve been playing them. i’ll never forget the look of terror a girl gave me after seeing me throw up three times into a trash bin behind our stage at the skate n’ surf festival two years ago…or the soup she brought me afterwards. i don’t do it intentionally, i’ve just learned to not fight it when it happens. i think it’s just the toxic combination of nerves, idle time, & my customary six bottles of water. i know there are people who struggle with things like this far, far more than i do, in completely different ways. i’ve met a lot of them. some have told me it comes from a place of self-punishment. some have told me it’s just comfortable, a routine they’re familiar with. lots have told me that it started as a rare & secret habit before it became something else. all of them have told me that they know they shouldn’t do it. i know it’s not healthy for me. it doesn’t seem tremendously unhealthy either. it happened before our show in houston. i do wish i could stop doing it. — after the show, marcus & anthony & i hadn’t eaten, so we went to a fast food restaurant to do that. we walked past a man, presumably homeless, & none of us said anything to him, because we’re desensitized, i think. most cities in the united states are unintentionally* divided into different sections, usually along economic lines. (*it’s actually probably intentional - i just don’t spend much time talking to the people who intended for it to be this way.) it’s like young adult fantasy fiction, but less overt, because we don’t have snappy names for the people in different districts. if we did, we’d probably call people in inner cities ‘shmurbans’ & people in gated suburban communities ‘class-holes’ or something like that. because we’re in an alternative rock band that’s primary source of income is t-shirt sales, we get the hotels in these areas, because they’re cheaper & we don’t have much money to spend on hotels. i would be a member of the ‘upper-middler’ district. the fast food joint had closed their lobby, so we had to beg the woman inside to serve us through the drive-through window. she was terrified, probably because she’s not supposed to do that & she values her job, but she served us anyway, probably because we’re persuasive. then the man from the street approached her, & she wouldn’t serve him. he held crumpled cash in front of him & she wouldn’t take it. this kind of thing happens all the time. looking at it in the abstract, you’re probably sitting behind a computer or cell phone & thinking, ‘what a horrible woman, why wouldn’t she let him get food?’ but if you saw it in person, i think you’d be less likely to question it. i say this because i was taken aback, not by the fact that she would take our order & wouldn’t take his even though both of us had green money, but by the fact that i wasn’t surprised. i could rationalize her decision for her. ‘more risk, i guess,’ i thought. i have no idea why. morality is easier to understand when you’re reading it on the internet, not uncomfortably watching it in an inner city. — across the street, a girl at a gas station stumbled out of the passenger seat of a car & was throwing up on the curb. i went over to talk to her, because these are the kind of people that interest me the most. sam: hi, are you okay? i saw you throwing up. girl: i’m fine. s: why are you throwing up? g: whiskey. s: sometimes i throw up on accident, because i’m nervous. do you think that had something to do with it? g: no, it was whiskey. s: are you afraid? this isn’t a very nice neighborhood to be puking in. g: no. s: i’m just saying, it’s kind of a scary area. i don’t want you to get kidnapped or anything. g: i grew up here. s: do you want help getting back to your car? i can help you get back to your car. g: it’s so far away. s: you have to go to it though. you can’t sit here all night. g: i know. s: why are you still sitting here? g: it’s so far away. s: so you’re just going to sit here all night? g: no. i’m not saying it’s impossible. s: then why are you complaining about how far away it is? g: i’m just appreciating the difficulty. — here’s what i learned on tuesday march 3. i’ve been trying to write an album for two years & all i know two years later is that it’s harder than i thought it was going to be. but i’m not saying it’s impossible, i’m just saying i appreciate the difficulty. i can’t stop my pendulum as it swings back & forth between brazen self-confidence & bitter self-doubt, & i can’t stop my stomach from reacting to the inertia. but i’m not saying it’s impossible, i’m just saying i appreciate the difficulty. there are low income communities in our country that are recreating themselves in isolation, & in the outside world, the solution has been to wall off from them; fearing & ignoring them until we forget they exist. if we’re going to remember how to be people again, we’re going to have to start by remembering that we are— scientifically speaking— exactly the same as the people with more or less opportunities than us. we’re going to have to start with radical inclusion. we’re going to have to start— all of us— giving much, much more than we take. but i’m not saying it’s impossible, i’m just saying i appreciate the difficulty.
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1gX2brT&text=the difficulty.%20-%20
  • https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/113752373123/MpKMbuI8
  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1fyAtU3&p[title]=back to blogging & back to life.&p[images][0]=http://assets.tumblr.com/images/og/text_200.png&p[summary]=sorry for the hiatus from writing on here. i’ve been busy, … finding some things to write about, & writing some things to find myself, & teaching myself to enjoy los angeles, & trying to be excited by leaving, & making a couple of things that i love, & making a bunch of things that i hate, & struggling to finish an album, & struggling to finish some other projects, & de-capitalizing all of the ‘i’s in my text messages, & making sense of the world, & failing, & learning to accept the nonsensical parts that i can’t change, & bargaining with my least favorite habits, & listening to the loudest voices in my head, & listening to the stories of strangers, & listening to the drake mixtape, & listening to the spot in my brain where thoughtful logic intersects with thoughtless passion & the ‘what do you want to be?’ answer stalls the ‘what are you gonna be?’ question, & also eating, sometimes. anyway, i think i’m going to start doing it again. i’ve got some fun stories & new motivation, & i want to test the social theory that on a large enough timeline, with a wide enough view, nothing bad ever comes from honesty. so we’ll get to all of that later, in future weeks, on future sundays. for now, i wanted to share lyrics to a new song that we’re playing on this tour. it’s one of my favorites we’ve ever done (i might say that every time, but i’m certain that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be), & i think the lyrics speak to some of the most inspiring relationships i’ve ever had. draw your own conclusions, paint your own stories, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do — back to life. you see yourself inside a normal life, cigarettes just trying to get by. what’s all this talk about you dying young? gas station parking lots & plastic guns. you tell me, ‘youth’s fucked up, the kids are too, people only grow up when they’ve got nothing better to do.’ nobody can keep up, & you won’t slow down, the circle gets square ‘cause the world just ain’t coming around. but i’ve got a twenty dollar bill that says you couldn’t scare me if you wanted to. we could die in this moment & live for the thrill, we’ll be the outsiders, we’ll bring it back to life. you tell me, ‘youth’s fucked up, & these kids are too, people only grow up when they’ve got nothing better to do.’ & so we’ll all get old, the flames get higher, & the only thing that matters is how well you can walk through the fire. i’ve got a twenty dollar bill that says you couldn’t scare me if you wanted to. we could die in this moment & live for the thrill, we’ll be the outsiders, we’ll bring it back to life. stay golden, stay broken, miserably happy in the lives we’ve chosen.
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1fyAtU3&text=back to blogging & back to life.%20-%20
  • https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/111507448338/levPbhsN
  • http://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?s=100&p[url]=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1dsNA8I&p[title]=Paradise Fears&p[images][0]=http%3A%2F%2F68.media.tumblr.com%2F530af55f01df7b2884d171c0e85ed65c%2Ftumblr_nk1k5fD46S1qbhxsmo1_400.jpg&p[summary]=First ride in our new van! Figured we would make it a patriotic one
  • http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftmblr.co%2FZz0UKy1dsNA8I&text=First ride in our new van! Figured we would make it a patriotic one%20-%20
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